Sometimes it Causes Me to Tremble

Every now and again Katharine or I will wonder out loud, “I wonder what ever happened to Gordon Sturges?” Some of you may remember him….He was a handyman who could do just about anything….He could do woodwork; he could glaze windows; he could do masonry and tile; he could paint…He worked off and on around All Saints for about a year, four or so years ago. I really liked him; he was bright and personable…His legacy was that he painted our red doors which required a lot of skill and hard work…It was a special paint and primer from Europe that required at least a dozen steps…the warranty of the paint is 25 years…before he began the project he studied the application instructions for a week, then he spent a good week sanding off the lead laden old coats of paint. He did some work for Katharine and me around our house. He had our trust. He was always out of money.

One day he told Katharine that the apartment building in which he lived was being totally renovated and his new place to stay was not quite ready for occupancy. He said it would be ready in three days. I allowed him against my better judgment to sleep in the youth room…the three days became a week…His behavior became erratic….One night I was called by a L’Arche employee that Gordon was out of his mind and exhibiting threatening behavior….I drove to the church and it was true; he was acting like a madman. We learned he was addicted to crack and methamphetamine. I told him he had to leave the church and we never saw him again…I’ve missed him over the past four years that it’s been; he was a good man, he was just unhealthy, had more of a burden than he could bear….and today our wondering about him ended. His mugshot was in the paper…He had attempted a robbery armed with a gun at a convenience store in Mt. Vernon. The article said he barricaded himself inside for almost an hour holding two clerks hostage, and then was arrested and taken to the Mobile metro jail…and then more articles: robberies, murders, many committed by teenagers…today it seemed more than usual.

Sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble at the hurt of our world….tremble for the crucified among us….the broken of us who turn to violence as a way out of the life they live….I’m not excusing them….I’m mourning them….they all have stories as Gordon Sturges has a story….they’re in our own families…the ones who bear a burden that is too great for them…held hostage by the dark of our world….How do we help them? Where is their salvation? These are not rhetorical questions….but questions I have for a God whose principal characteristic we say is love; and a God according to the scribes and editors of Genesis, who calls the whole of creation good….Does God tremble with us?

Perhaps our collective courage as a people of faith is part of the answer….the courage to stand in the muck and mire of the life into which we were baptized….a life in a world that is wounded and broken…..Our vocation as the baptized is to bear light to this world enshrouded by darkness….to bear healing love, which is the incarnate love of God to the ones desperate for it…like Gordon and the many others….Trembling, I will go see him and tell him I miss him and that I love him….