I miss church. I miss the tolling of the bell, and a grand procession, implying that our gathering is somehow important. I miss seeing the lay-reader walk up the aisle to the lectern, and announce the reading for the day, and the care with which she reads the appointed scripture. I miss preaching. Yes, I record a sermon each Sunday, but that’s not the same. In person, there is body language, a subtle communication between us, energy. I miss the Eucharist, not just the physical enactment of a meal, but the remembering, the remembering of who we are, and to whom we belong, and that our meeting at the table of God is indeed nurture, soulful nurture. I yearn for that.
Perhaps most of all, I miss the music. The Anglican tradition of which we are a part, is marked most indelibly by our music, our hymnody, our singing. That is to say, that it is perhaps the beauty of worship that informs us the most. I now know that is true for me. Certainly, we are taught by scripture, we remember our foundational theology in the creeds, our prayers keep us focused on the needs of the world we live in, we are intellectually challenged in our conversations, but ultimately, I think it is the mystery that beauty invokes that draws us together as God’s people.
During this pandemic the thought has crossed my mind: Does our gathering for church really matter? Does what I do as a priest really matter? And the answer returns to me: Where else would we go for such nurture, for such a singular experience, for such joy? I remember in seminary, one of my professors observed that the people of Israel are encouraged by the Law and the Prophets to live responsibly, to take care of their neighbor, to be productive… but that there is really only one thing that matters the most, and that is praise. When all is said and done in this short life, what matters most is praise.
We AA folks know that gratitude is so very important to living with perspective, to being open to possibility, to sanity, in short. There is, I think, a profound need in our collective psyche to praise God, whatever we think “God” means, or who God is… praise for life, praise for love. Praise is regenerative. Praise is freedom. And most important in all of this is that we praise God together, as community. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. We are stronger together. There is soulful energy in the community gathered, energy that motivates, nurtures, and heals.
The time is coming when we will gather again. The bell will toll, and the hymn will begin, and we will continue in the tradition bequeathed to us by our ancestors. We will keep the fire of love burning in Word and praise. Even so, Lord Jesus, quickly come.
